I have been so excited about the prospects of our new life. I felt I needed to let all the women know why I have decide to “give up” on the modern day woman so to speak.
First let me start by saying I am a 37 year old woman with 2 children, one 18 and one 15. I have always been a artistic type of gal. I’ve had every sort of art job you can think of. I used to pride my self on being “trendy", “pretty” and very “well-kept” I had MANY things I did to keep myself up. Did my nails every 2 weeks, I had hair extensions (not only cut and color, but the fake hair to boot), went to the tanner, bought all the designer name things I could. (I didn’t always have all the money to buy the REAL thing but I at least got the “knock off" version of it.) I spent many hours a week, keeping myself up to live up to the standards I thought my family , friends and especially my husband (Pat) wanted. I found it to be EXHAUSTING and really unrewarding. Pat and I were working our asses off to keep with the standard of how you should be, look, dress and feel. Pat (a truck driver) spends months and months away from home for us to keep up with the crazy “Jones” life style. I spend hours online and away from home working to earn money. In the end I asked myself, was I REALLY happy? Did I really feel satisfied? Was I really PRETTY? REALLY PRETTY? What is pretty? I know it’s a silly thought, a silly question, but isn’t that what woman want to be? Pretty? What makes a woman “pretty”? How did I REALLY feel when I looked in the mirror? Did I like what I saw on the outside, the persona that everyone saw? Was it really me? Is it how everyone views her or how she views herself? Or did I really want to be truly happy with who I was as a woman, a mother, a wife, friend, aunt, cousin, sister…a human being? Was Pat even home to see me being “pretty” ? (No, he was out working, on the road, for months at a time to pay for the “pretty“) I finally realized it is how I view myself! It was being with Pat, who always told me I was pretty. It was me being with my friends, family and loved ones, that is want I wanted…… That is what it is to truly be “pretty" isn‘t it?
Now I know what you’re thinking, I turned into this crazy tree-hugging, non-shaving, non-deodorant wearing hippy freak. But that is far from the truth. I turned into “ME”. The person I want to be, not what society wants, or the media, but what I want. WHAT I WANT! I haven’t changed my style, or personality and most won’t even notice, but I know (me, myself) that I have changed the way I live as a woman. I will no longer live up to the magazine, commercial, television version of the stick-thin, designer wearing, waif looking woman that is pretty. I have turned into… ME, just me, and I’m pretty, and all who I love know it and that’s all that counts to me!
I still have my crazy style, I still wear what I want to, I just do it for me, I don’t buy into the hype of what is hip or in style, is that really important? REALLY? I will never buy a new piece of clothing again. I buy all second hand, used stuff, and make it my own. I will mend it if it tears, I will patch if it has a hole. I may not know now how to do it all now but I will learn and that will make me happier than someone telling me that it makes me happy if I bought it! What better satisfaction than to know you did it yourself? REALLY....What woman doesn’t want to save a buck…lol.
